I think with the principles Lemmy was made under the fracturing of the community into blocs is basically inevitable. You’ll have the original/developer/“tankie” bloc at lemmy.ml, the more mainstream/liberal bloc at lemmy.world, and all the smaller instances orbiting around and between them some connected to both and some connected to neither.
To do something like you suggest would require a single, centralized instance that lists all the others and tags them to allow users to pick which ones to subscribe to - and if the Lemmy devs did that then we’d be right back to the problems inherent to 
.
I think this is a fundamental property of social media. It’s a basic catch-22 - you need new users to attract new users. Sometimes a seismic shift will occur like the migration from MySpace or Digg, but neither of those websites were as big as any of the big social media sites are now, so the gravity well wasn’t nearly as strong.
People will just normalize the new anti-user features and get used to them.