I was told by the owner of Beehaw that login cookies are excluded from the cookie dialog requirement, and Lemmy doesn’t use tracking cookies which are subject to the requirement.

My Lemmy instance is running on a vps of very similar size to yours. I anticipate possibly needing to upgrade the size, but from what I can tell an instance of that size should be able to host up to 300 or so users pretty seamlessly. I’d say go for it! The ansible configuration is very easy to set up, although getting the config files to work is tricky. Feel free to visit my progress and struggles that I’m documenting over at !server@prime8s.xyz, and I’ll do my best to document things as I go.

How many ssh keys do you have installed on your system? sshd will lock you out after a few failed attempts, the answer is typically ssh config files or just using one key for all services on that machine.

I’ve tried using proxy protection with cloudflare, but it breaks access to the site and just about every external replication service. Maybe something about pointing a proxy at a proxy? You still get telemetry, so you’d likely still go down without that protection, but at least you get reports in the cloudflare console about what ips to blackhole in your firewall.

YMMV