High on my list of important attributes is an instance that specifically does not defederate from others. If I see something I don’t want to see anymore I just block it myself. But I’d rather be treated like an adult capable of making my own decisions about what to see and read. If you’re also looking for this I suggest unilem.
Try unilem. They have a policy of not defederating from other servers and as long as it’s legal it’s good to go. In other words they treat you like an adult who can decide for yourself what you want to see and read online.