Update: looks like said pirate ditched the boat in Kalama and was arrested sometime after.
A suspect stole a Portland Fire & Rescue fire boat and commandeered it down the Columbia River early Thursday morning, says the agency. PF&R reported that Rescue Boat 21 was taken from the boathouse by an unauthorized user.
As of 6:45 a.m. an active pursuit by local law enforcement and the Coast Guard was happening.
PF&R said the boat is traveling downstream the Columbia River at present.
Thats going to be a tough sell here I fear, since this exactly level of blind wokeness seems to be the main strength of the bulk of our candidates. The failed ones are trying to make more of themselves as well.
There was a slight confusion on Vancouvers okay.