Why shouldn’t the instance owner make that choice? It’s their hardware, time, money, and desire that made that instance. As soon as I start one, first thing I’m doing is making sure it never gets federated with fashy instances or meta.
EDIT: Seriously. As someone who isn’t a hardcore militant FOSS federation activist, this is the kind of stuff that makes me want to throw up my hands and say, “Screw it. I guess I’ll go sign up at Threads.”
I ain’t your fucking buddy